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Ninjago: Bucket List Chapter One
Warnings: Themes of depression & mental health issues, swearing.
Notes: Originally posted on archive of our own on May 22nd, 2019.
BUCKET LIST
CHAPTER ONE: THE RULES
Kai is having a shit day.
He hasn't gotten a good night sleep in weeks. He's been too busy searching Ninjago for Wu. He split from Zane temporarily just because they've been each other's only company for months, and they both need some time with others, so Kai figured he'd go visit Lloyd. They made plans to hang out for a day or two, then get back to their search.
Except that's not what happens. What happens is that Lloyd has to cancel, Kai can't get in touch with Nya, and he's left with nothing to do in NInjago City while the sun is setting. He scores a free bed at the second motel he pulls the ninja card at – they are heroes, after all, so he has no idea why it didn't work at the first motel.
The room smells like cigarette smoke. Kai figures that's fitting enough for the Master of Fire. He doesn't bother with the TV or anything, just throws his bag in a corner, takes off his pants and jacket, and gets in the bed.
He wakes up in the middle of the night when a kid starts screaming. Kai sits straight up in bed and looks around. In the next room over, he can hear people moving, muffled words to soothe the child, but the crying continues. Kai groans and pulls the blanket over his head.
Then a chill grips his heart, his body shudders, and there's a presence in his head that's not his own –
"Oh, shit," says Morro.
Kai forces himself to sit up, his mouth struggling to form words. "What… what the fuck?" he spits out. "What are – why –"
The hold on Kai's body is released. Kai doesn't waste a moment – he throws himself out of bed and tackles Morro just as the ghost materializes in the room. Morro tries to speak. Kai punches him in the face.
"You've got a lot of fucking nerve!" he shouts. "You little brat –"
Morro disappears. Kai tries to stand, but he can feel Morro in his head again, possessing him, and he's not in control of his own damn body. He crashes to the ground and grips his head, trembling.
"I'm not doing anything!" Morro hisses with Kai's voice. "Leave me alone!"
No! Kai shouts inside his head. What are doing here?! You should be dead!
"I am dead, asshole!"
You should be deader! Get out of my head!
The memories hit him like a train. The Day of the Departed, when the ghosts of the past were summoned back in mannequins of themselves. Morro wakes up again long after the spell has faded and slips out of his mannequin and into a storage closet. A kid stumbles across him. Morro panics and possesses them, terrified of what will happen if he's discovered. He manages to hide in the kid's body until they get back to the motel.
The train veers off the tracks. Lloyd, his face contorted into an unfamiliar expression. Begging for help, fighting against this monster that's controlling him, trying to kill them, trying to destroy Ninjago and all the sixteen realms. Kai gasps and chokes and reaches out blindly, his hands grasping empty air.
He can't fight anymore. Kai struggles for control for another few moments, then passes out.
--
Kai wakes up while he's eating breakfast. He doesn't comprehend anything is wrong at first, then he looks down at his cereal and realizes he doesn't remember shit about how he got here, but he does remember what happened before he blacked out.
He stands up. Morro lets him.
There's no one else having breakfast at the motel, but the receptionist gives him a strange look from the desk. Kai takes a few deep breaths and sits back down.
"You better have a good explanation for this," he says in a low voice.
It was an accident, Morro says. I didn't know it was you.
"That's not a fucking explanation, dead boy." Kai puts a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. It has more sugar than he's used to. "Why are you here? In Ninjago?"
I don't know!
"Why are you still possessing me?"
Because someone came into the room after you screamed, and I didn't want to be caught.
"Great," Kai hisses. "So why are you still here, and why did you make me get breakfast?"
I was hungry! Morro says indignantly.
"It's not your body! Ghosts don't get hungry!" Kai forces himself to eat another spoonful, as if he's having a normal breakfast. "Did you put extra sugar in this?"
No!
Kai stands up with his bowl and walks over to the receptionist. "Hey," he says. "Sorry to bother you, but did you see if I put sugar in my cereal?"
"Uh," says the receptionist. "Yeah, you did."
"Great, thanks."
He sits back down and resumes his conversation. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't call the others and have them get rid of you for good," he hisses.
…I'm sorry.
Kai spits out milk. "What?!" he yells, jumping to his feet and earning a concerned look from the receptionist. He manages to keep control of himself, wipe his face, and sit back down, but anger is still burning inside him. He knows Morro can feel it, too.
I'm sorry. For everything I did. Morro lets his emotion flow out of his mind, and Kai can feel that he's sincere. There's nothing that can excuse it. I did horrible things. You don't have to forgive me, all I want…
He trails off. Kai groans and slumps back in his chair.
"The hell do you want?" he grumbles.
I want to live. Oh God, is he actually sad? He almost sounds like he's crying. I want my life back. I – I wasted all of it on stupid things, and then I wasted being a ghost, too, and now I'm back and I don't know why and – and I just want to live again, even if I'm still dead.
Kai claps a hand over his eyes. "Fuck you," he says. "You don't deserve shit after what you did. You don't…"
Lloyd had mentioned it, once. That Morro was the same age as him when he died. And Kai saw his gross skeleton corpse, too, rotting in the Caves of Despair. Sixteen years old. Even if he went on to do horrible things as a ghost, he didn't deserve to die that young.
Goddammit, is he actually feeling sympathy for this brat? Kai shakes his head.
"What do you want exactly?" he says.
What? says Morro.
"If I let you go, and you went out and did whatever – assuming you wouldn't immediately get sprayed with a hose – what would you do?"
Morro thinks about the question for a long few moments. Kai tries to eat more, then pushes the bowl away. "Seriously, this cereal is disgusting. I'm getting cavities just looking at it."
I don't know. I just want to do – what I didn't get to do when I was alive. But… If Morro wasn't just a presence in his head, Kai gets the impression he would be rubbing tears out of his eyes. …you're right. No one would want me around. I can't get that back.
Kai is so, so tired.
"Where's my stuff?" he asks.
In the room. I didn't touch it.
"Good." He gets up and dumps the cereal in the trash. "You are staying right here. If you try to take control, or leave, or do anything other than sit nicely in my head until I figure out what to do with you, I will be pissed, and I won't hesitate to call Nya and have her fix the problem. We're leaving this dump."
…why?
"Because I'm pretty sure the receptionist thinks I'm talking to myself, and I already apparently caused a scene last night –"
No, Morro says. Why are you letting me stay? Why aren't you calling the Water Ninja right now?
Kai sighs. "Y'know," he says, "I don't like you. Not at all, really. But I feel bad for you. And you did help us on the Day of the Departed." And I need a change of pace, he thinks to himself.
A change from what?
Goddammit. "You weren't supposed to hear that, dipshit."
Morro retreats away from his awareness. Kai rolls his eyes and goes to get his bag.
--
Morro stays quiet until they're at some crappy park between apartment buildings. Kai sits on a bench and looks around for any eavesdroppers before he speaks. "You get two weeks," he says.
Two weeks for what? Morro says.
"Two weeks to do whatever the hell you want." Kai cracks a smile. "You can't do anything by yourself without someone dragging out the garden hose, right? Use my body. I'm going to let you possess me for two weeks, and you can do all the things you didn't get to do when you were alive."
You're joking, Morro says. You just want me gone.
"Oh, I'm dead serious. Like you!"
Morro doesn't appreciate the joke. Kai can feel his anger flare up. Don't be funny with me!
"No fun allowed, got it. Anyway, I'm going to set some rules." Kai holds up a finger. "Rule one, whenever I ask for control, you have to give it to me. No questions, no arguments, it's my fucking body." He extends another finger. "Rule two, it's my fucking body, so don't change how I look. It'll help you more if everyone thinks I'm still me – being the Red Ninja has some perks, you know!"
Why are you doing this? Morro asks.
"Rule three, don't do anything to deliberately hurt anyone, or anything so stupid it accidentally hurts someone. Rule four, I don't care who asks, tell no one. Rule five – hey, hey, hey!"
He can feel Morro digging into his mind, trying to find a reason for this. Kai hisses air through his teeth and grabs his head. "Rule five, don't do whatever this shit is!" he snarls. "Why do you need to know?"
Morro backs off, but Kai can feel anger coming off him waves. People don't do nice things for nothing! he snaps. You want something from me, I know it! People don't do anything nice unless they want something! You're all the same!
Kai snorts. "You're right I want something," he says. "I want a goddamn break. I'm sick and tired of having to figure out what I'm doing today, where I'm going, what to do with my life – fuck it! Your turn!"
You're doing this for fun?
"I feel bad for you, remember?" Kai crosses his arms and slouches on the bench. "Not that I should, with everything you did – but I do, so you get two weeks. After two weeks? You're on your own. So make this count, and stop questioning it."
Morro doesn't say anything for a moment. What was rule five? he asks.
"Told you, not trying to read my memories like the latest bestseller –"
No, you were going to say something else was rule five before I started doing that.
"Oh. Right." Kai takes a deep breath. "Rule six, don't say anything about the L-word."
Lesbian?
"What? No, you little shit, you know who I'm talking about."
He doesn't want to say Lloyd's name, doesn't want to acknowledge him at all. Isn't it such a betrayal, that Kai is letting Morro do this? After what possession did to Lloyd? Isn't so horrible, that he's willing to give Morro this chance? Why would he do this? What kind of person is he?
Oh, Morro says. Right. I won't.
"That's it." Kai forces himself to relax. "Yep! That's it. Go for it."
He waits for Morro to take control, and keeps waiting. He's uncomfortably aware of his leg bouncing, of all his little tics and quirks. He frowns. "Well?" he says.
Then he stands up.
Morro looks at his hands – Kai's hands – then looks around the park. "Okay," he says, in Kai's voice. "Okay. I'm going… I'm going to…"
He shakes his head. Kai presses him wordlessly to continue. What does Morro want to do with this new body?
"I'm going to get ice cream," Morro decides.
And for what won't be the last time, Kai wonders what sort of sad, sad life this dead boy led.
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